ER docs see patients with unimaginable items in unlikely places. Melissa Barton was the attending physician in the emergency department of the Detroit Medical Center. Making her rounds, she picked up a chart for a new patient and read the woman's chief complaint: "eye in the vagina. The patient told Barton she had been expecting a fight with some neighbors outside her house. Wearing only a sweatshirt and spandex pants, she needed somewhere to stow her prosthetic eye for safe-keeping.
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Apparently, he ordered a sex doll off eBay, and when it arrived it was actually a Barbie doll. He was so angry that he ripped off the doll's arm and shoved it up his penis. She claimed that an intruder assaulted her, but the area was not bleeding; it was as if the knife was slid into her. She later revealed that she did it herself to 'get revenge' on her boyfriend She once had an older woman come in, and at one point they took X-rays. Apparently the woman had a potato growing in her uterus. He claimed that he accidentally fell on it, but he had a history of 'falling' on objects that way.
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Calling it your vagina is OK. Yes, the word "vagina" can sound weirdly formal for something that is attached to your body, but it's not Voldemort. If you need to talk to your doctor about an itch or a bump spoiler alert: you probably will at some point, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about girlprobs , lose the synonyms and just say it. It'll make the convo less awkward in the long run.